An Adventure!

Hola! I’m Glenna! And this is my friend Jacinta. She and I are best friends. And this is our dog, Vertigo. Do you want to be our friend, too? You can only be our friend if you promise you won’t pretend to be our friend, stab us in the back, and say that you still love us! You won’t? Okay! But if you do, you will be muerte a nosotros.

Jacinta and I are going on an adventure tonight. We want to have the most fun possible tonight. We need to get somewhere so that we can get drunk. Who do we ask when we have somewhere to go? Yeah, Map!

“If there’s a place you gotta go, I’m the one you need to know I’m the Map! Hola! Glenna and Jacinta want to end their night with getting drunk. How can they get there? I know! First they have to go to the Cave of Dancers. Then they have to go to the Golden Arches. And after that, they will reach the Shiny Toaster of Alcohol! So tell Glenna and Jacinta they go to Cave of Dancers, Golden Arches, Shiny Toaster of Alcohol! Cave of Dancers, Golden Arches, Shiny Toaster of Alcohol!”

What did Map say? Cave of Dancers, Golden Arches, Shiny Toaster of Alcohol! Okay! Where do we go first? Cave of Dancers, yeah? But we’ll have to watch out for the Evil Rhymes-with-Witch. She lives in the Cave of Dancers and hurts everyone she can. We’ll have to defeat her.

Come on vamanos, everybody let’s go! Come let’s get to it, I know that we can do it! Where are we going? *clap clap clap* Cave of Dancers! What are we doing? *clap clap clap* Defeating Evil Rhymes-with-Witch!

We’re at the Cave of Dancers! Mira! The Evil Rhymes-with-Witch! Look at Vertigo bite and bite and bite! He hates that Evil Rhymes-with-Witch. She makes Vertigo very angry. We’ve almost defeated the Evil Rhymes-with-Witch. Jacinta slapped the Evil Rhymes-with-Witch with her SUPER SEXY AWESOME SLAP. Yay! We defeated the Evil Rhymes-with-Witch.

Where do we go next? Yeah! The Golden Arches.

Come on vamanos, everybody let’s go! Come on let’s get to it, I know that we can do it! Where are we going? *clap clap clap* Golden Arches! What are we doing *clap clap clap* Getting yummy food!

We reached the Golden Arches! Now we need to decide what to eat. Should we get the healthy Fruit Parfait? No!! Should we get the Fish Filet Sandwich? Nah, that sounds yucky. What about the Quarter Pounder? Yeah! And let’s get lots of papas fritas. Son muy delicioso!

We defeated the Evil Rhymes-with-Witch, we got yummy food at the Golden Arches, so where do we go now? Yeah! The Shiny Toaster of Alcohol!

Come on vamanos, everybody let’s go! Come on let’s get to it, I know that we can do it! Where are we going? *clap clap clap* Shiny Toaster of Alcohol! What are we doing? *clap clap clap* Being happy!

Hooray! We reached the Shiny Toaster of Alcohol! Now we can have lots of fun. Look at all the delicious drinks we can have. Let’s try all of them!

Thanks for helping Jacinta and me have our adventure. Lo hicimos, we did it!

This is really going to happen, kiddos. 


Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction and all similarities between characters and people, living or dead, are purely coincidental.