And now you are twenty one.

Dear Mule,

You're twenty one? What?!

How did this happen?

I could use this opportunity to tell you all of the reasons I'm glad we're giving us a shot. I could also use this opportunity to tell you all the reasons you warm my heart.

Or, because I try to tell you those things on a daily basis, maybe I will just say this:

My world changed that day in seventh grade when you put a bug in my hair. There have been ups, there have been downs, but it has always been interesting. And even on the days when we irritate and grate each other, there is no one I'd rather spend my time with. Even on our bad days, there is no one else I'd rather be with.

Thank you for this journey. Thank you for all the things that are still to come.

Happy birthday, my darling.

I love you more and more,
your Seagull

We're the cutest ever. 

This is Not Okay, No this is Not Okay

Realizing that I still have not kicked this damn funk is the worst feeling in the world. 


I don't want to go out, I don't want to do anything, I just want to go back to bed and sleep. I want to stay inside, I want to leave classes, I want to go home. 


Normally I do pretty well. My functionality has increased tenfold from the beginning of the semester. But today feels like a bad day.


A day where I want to close the blinds, turn off my phone, and curl up into a ball. 


But no. I will not do that. I will get dressed. I will close my laptop. I will go out.


Not because I want to, but because I should. Because it will make me feel better. 


This is not okay. 

It's Late and I should Go to Bed

95% of the time, I'd rather be at Best Friend's house or Boyfriend's house than anywhere else. I don't mind going out and partying with my friends, I just don't particularly enjoy it as much as everyone else seems to. 


I like the laughter. I like the giggliness and the silliness and a lot of the memories that are made, but most of the time (at least for me) the crash isn't worth it. I stare at my ceiling at 2:35 in the morning and wonder if it was really worth it: going out, being around my drunk friends, driving people home, stressed out about people being sick... And this is how it always goes.


I do not have the partying personality. Give me a night in with my girlfriends any day. Give me a nice dinner with my significant other. 


Nine times out of ten, I'd so much rather do those things than go out and drink until I'm awake too late. 

My Day of Love

1. Began the night before when I made cupcakes for my roommates and we had a '90s music dance party.
2. Woke up to a text message from the boyfriend.
3. Texted Best Friend. We were simultaneously excited about our days.
4. Got very dressed up for a night that I didn't know how it was going to go.
5. Presented Boyfriend with my gifts: a cupcake and a very long, sappy letter.
6. Boyfriend and I went out to dinner at one of my favorite seafood restaurants and then went to the movies. 
7. Came out of the movie theater to find the city covered in snow, with more falling fast. 
8. Back at the apartment, I found flowers and chocolates from Boyfriend. I was completely surprised and it was adorable!
9. This morning, I discovered a secret letter inside the box of chocolates, which was just the perfect icing on top of what was the best cliche holiday ever. 

The one dark spot on yesterday was finding out that my parakeet back home died a few nights ago. I got him when I was 10 and it's still a little hard to believe that he won't sing for us every morning anymore. He was very much loved by me and my family. We'll miss you, Louie-bird. 

On another note, I'd like to express my gratitude for all the love in my life. My friends, my family... I love you all. Thank you for everything you give to me. Thank you for your love! 

And I Should Just Say...

Goddamn this happens every damn sophomore year. Ah, well. I got through it once, I can get through it again! 

Who do you Think you Are?

This is one of those moments
to step back and say
nonono enough of this already
there are people you know.
There are people who know you.
Know you well enough
to always speak their mind
always voice concerns

To know that
If something cannot be said to someone's face
then it isn't important enough to be said.

Those people I love
Those people who love me
Make no excuses
And I ask for none.

This is one of those times
When I remember
when I am grateful
to know that love
Is not 100% support
But
100% honesty.

All else pales in comparison.