Things I Miss (and/or Vicious Little Thoughts)

I miss the way you smile at me and the way I could lean into you without thinking.

The way you tell me over the phone, "But you'll catch me up next week, right? Promise? I love you," makes me melt.

I miss our dinners. I miss sitting on my front porch with you, smoking cigarettes and drinking beer. I miss putting my feet in your lap and you absentmindedly tapped on them.

I miss your rugged laugh.

So much of you is back, now that you've left, but that just means I miss you all the more. Now that you're more YOU, there's more to miss, as strange as that is to say.

Even more so is the fact that this separation has done wonders for our friendship. This helped us tremendously. But now that we're back to a good place... I miss you more.

I miss you, I miss you. No place like home when you're my home.

It makes them angry, you know. That for every one time they talk to you, I've talked to you at least three. That I visited and have plans to visit again, and they can't seem to make it work. That for some reason, what we've been saying from the beginning is true:I'm your best friend. I'm special. I know more, and for that, I'm honored.

Vicious vicious of me to be proud and don't I know it. But I'm tired of them acting like we were just the same.

Anyways. Today I miss you more. Come home to me soon, please.