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Thursday, May 1, 2014

Well that came out of nowhere.

Rolling along through my day and all of a sudden I get struck with this feeling of intense longing for her. Thinking how nice it would be to see her.

And so I text her and think I've let the feelings pass but here I am two minutes later crying because I want her here so badly and she can't be and I can't see her anytime soon and oh god i miss her i miss her with everything in me.

I think of her so often. So few minutes go by in my day without her being on my mind but I don't think I ever focus on this absence of her because if I noticed her absence every moment as much as I notice it now I don't know how I'd make it through

But isn't that a strange thought. I focus on her and her as a person and her as the person that I love but I miss her in the abstract but then moments like this happen and I realize that this is what it feels like to truly wholly miss her and this is the feeling that I avoid as much as I can and in this moment I cannot avoid it

So I sit here and weep and feel her absence so keenly. I miss her I miss her

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