I have a weird relationship with exhaustion. I was sitting here, preparing to write a high and mighty post about how I never use exhaustion as an excuse not to do something, and then I realized that was wrong.

I should have been applying for jobs for at least a month before now, but I used the excuse that I was exhausted. I could have been packing last night and I should pack tomorrow and Thursday, but I know I will say that I'm exhausted and I need a rest.

I prioritize everything, and I just now realized that very specific things are a priority above my level of tiredness. And I'm okay with that, I'm okay with my priorities, but I need to at least own up to that instead of generalizing and giving myself more credit than I deserve.

What I mean to say is, I've never let being exhausted or burnt out prevent me from completing my responsibilities. Even that isn't quite true, but it's what I'm going with right now.

I wish I could explain this exhaustion though. Because it's not physical even a little bit, although it does lead to more physical tiredness. This is a completely mental exhaustion and I don't know how to fix it.

What I do know is that I'm exhausted and I still wrote over forty pages in the last two weeks. Pretty damn proud of myself.