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Friday, December 20, 2013

Give Me the Truth, Any Day of the Week

A few nights ago, I was talking to a friend about Mule and how he treats me these days, now that we're broken up. And she said that, because he was a writer, he always looked for the ideal story, the ideal interpretation. He admits himself that he idealizes people. From experience, I know that he is constantly searching for the perfection he imagines in his mind. And I agreed with her at the time, noting that because he searched for idealizations, he could never see the truth of the matter. He figures out how he wants to perceive something, and perceives it that way.

And then I realized tonight that I disagree with her. His idealization is not a product of his "writer's mind." It's what makes him a sub-par writer. Because writing isn't about looking for what makes the best story, or the most ideal concept. Good writers, great writing, searches for the truth. Because that's what will connect us. No one knows perfection. Good writing means trying to find the truth. No one ever bleeds out words of perfection, they bleed out the truth. It's the stories of imperfections, of honest and true shortcomings, that reveal to the readers just how not alone we are, which is the whole point of writing. It's connection, and you can't find connection in perfection because perfection doesn't exist. It isn't real. And because he willfully doesn't do that, he'll never be a great writer.

Not that it matters, really. What matters is that it may make a nice story, an ideal story that I'm a crazy ex-girlfriend, but that isn't the truth. He can have that. I'd rather have the truth. Which is why he ignores me in public and I'll still admit that he was an influential person in my life.

I don't want the ideal. I want the truth.

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