I'm feeling a little bit nervous because we're officially hitting the end of the summer and I feel like I've kind of lost control of my finances and I'm not sure how that happened. I keep having to make huge withdrawals for necessary things, but I'm not sure if my work this summer was enough to sustain those purchases, the car payment I have to make, and my personal discretionary fund for the next semester. And that thought is really upsetting to me. Not only am I concerned about *further* depleting my savings account, but it's really not okay that I didn't see this coming. That I wasn't as in control of my money and spending as I should have been. Or even as aware as I should have been. Plus, I thought things were okay. I miscalculated. That's also really frustrating that I didn't do the math properly.
I don't know. I need to pray about this, and I know He will help. I have plenty of money. Just not as much as I thought/hoped. And it's not okay for me to just have vague ideas of my finances anymore. When I go back to school, this is going to change. Paying actual bills and living a real-world life demands total awareness of finances. And I'm going to have that. It's just upsetting that I don't already.
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