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Wednesday, January 15, 2014

I can't quite bring myself to regret everything that happened last semester. I handled my emotions and feelings fairly poorly over the last few months, but I think I needed to go off the deep end for a little bit.

I feel like I needed to know what it felt like to self-destruct. What it felt like to avoid and ignore things to the point that I reached last semester.

I'm not saying all of it was good, in fact most of it was the exact opposite. But it was the sort of bad that I needed to experience, so that I'll know what it looks like the next time I start down that path.

And in the long run, I'm glad that I knew when to stop before I caused irrevocable harm, albeit with the encouragement of Best Friend. I'm glad that period is over and that I have a better idea of what I need to do now, now that I've decided to deal with these things.

Because it was okay for a semester to drink my weight three times over in rum and wine and to fall asleep most nights in a house that wasn't mine next to someone who I never really wanted to be mine. But I'm glad that's not my forever life.

It's time to focus on what is mine, or more specifically who I am and how I want to live *my* life.

I am enough.

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