And now I am twenty.

Dear me,

Is it weird that I'm writing a letter to myself? Oh, well. I'm going for it.

Birthdays always kind of freak me out, at least in terms of my own. I LOVE getting presents, but when all that focus and pressure is on me, it makes me anxious. So I was insistent on getting a low key birthday this year. As long as presents were involved. Presents are non-negotiable.

It was a good birthday. Making Doctor Who-themed drinks with my very best friends, having dinner with all the people I love the most, seeing my family, and having things planned with Boyfriend. Low key in all the right ways. Happy birthday to me!

Low key is good. Especially after this last year. This year, the last year of my teenagedom, was vaguely focused on the idea of growing up. I had to get my life together. I took a serious, big step in the direction of choosing a career, put myself in a healthy relationship that has the potential for a future, and I tried to focus on the things and people that I want to focus on for the rest of my life.

College is strange. Who knows what they want to at nineteen? I certainly didn't. Or don't. And so I took a leap and went in the direction of something that I instinctively felt good about. I made the right call. Whenever I tell someone, at least someone who matters, what my major is, the response is always the same. "Did you really think you belonged anywhere else?" I don't.

I also don't know where my current relationship is headed, but I know that it's headed somewhere. I love finally feeling as though I am with the right person at the right time. He makes me happy, he makes me laugh, and he makes me work harder to be a better person. I can't say what our future holds but I love that there is the possibility of a future.

I am so lucky to have this brilliant, quirky, loving group of friends assembled from both high school and college. Sometimes I roll my eyes at the fact that my best friends now were my best friends in high school, but really? I am so lucky to have had them for so long! And the people I've met since being in college are so wonderful. They are unique and hilarious and I can't imagine my world without them. That's not to say I haven't lost friends this year. It sucks in a sense, but sometimes ties have to be cut. People may not think those ties are being cut for the right reasons, but I know that my reasons are good ones. Sometimes, it's best just to move on. And my family... Oh, my amazingly imperfect family. I don't have the words to describe how much they mean to me. This past year has truly shown me their importance and how much I value every single member of my family. I am so blessed by the people in my life.

So do I know what this next year will hold? I certainly didn't expect anything that happened last year. But with all these incredible things and people in my life, I'm content to sit back and enjoy the journey, feeling like I'll be pleasantly surprised as to where I end up. I am right where I should be and that feeling is the best present I could ask for as I head into my twenties.

Happy birthday to me!