And now you are three.

Dear Baby Brother,

When I found out that Mom was having yet another baby, I cried. I didn't want our house to be turned upside down again. I was 16 and selfish.

When you were born, Mom had a bad reaction to the meds they gave her. I, the first person to see you after Mom and Dad, walked in to see my mother shaking violently on the bed, unable to say hello to me. Dad shoved you in my arms. I looked from you to my mother, and I didn't know what to think. Sweet boy, you were not a cute newborn. Sorry baby, you just weren't.

But, God has the best sense of humor. Because you turned out to be one of the greatest people in my life. I regret every single minute I wasted dreading your arrival. I can't imagine what the last three years would have been like without you.

You are sweet and funny. The summer before I went off to college, when I'd babysit you, you'd go play but every few minutes you'd run back to me just to give me a kiss before running off to play again. We hold hands in the car and we put our hands on top of each others' when we pray. You sit in my lap when we watch movies.

The joyous boy turns three.

Your smile and laugh is infectious. You can definitely be a brat sometimes, but it's hard to get too mad at you when you're so hilarious. Every time you grabbed your sister's hair with the most serene look on your face, it took all my strength not to laugh. Or that time when Dad told you "See you later, alligator!" and you screamed back, "I am NOT AN ALLIGATOR!" You are the funniest in our family.

One of my biggest regrets is that I went to college when you were so young. Because before I left, you and I were each others' favorite people and now that I'm gone you're used to my absence. That devastates me. But every time you run to hug me when I come home reinforces how special our connection still is. And I will always be your big sister, always there when you need me.

You are the sunshine of my life, sweetest boy. I love you forever.

Happy Birthday to you!