It's getting easier, I think. I don't cry all the time like I used to. The loneliness is becoming bearable.

I'm still having a hard time taking it day by day, though. I just run the upcoming weeks and their events over and over in my head. I think it's because I worry like hell about being anti-social or sitting in my room night after night. It comforts me to know that I actually do have SOME plans in the next few weeks.

The worst part of my day is waking up. I feel so empty when I wake up. Sleeping is such blessed ignorance but then I wake up, realize that I don't have anyone special to text, no one who makes my heart flutter to talk to. No one to lean into.


It is getting easier. But it's still hard.